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On rolls, aren’t you impressed!?

Filed Under (Content, Websites) by Morbid Romantic on 31-07-2008
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Yes, another one down. I finally went to my writing site, Words That Kill and redid the layout. Free templates are so impersonal; I wanted something a little bit more to my tastes, something designed at least in part by me. It was about time I put my personal touch on my own writing site, after all. Plus, I am reworking a few pieces yet to be put up to finally be archived.

I felt like using clouds. I achieved what I wanted to, I think. I’m really happy how it turned out. So, I can cross one more thing off of my to-do list. It seems so much less daunting when I knock these projects out with ease. I think to myself, “man, I can do this in just a few days if I just work steadily and constantly.”

Too bad I don’t have that sort of resolve.

Popularity: 7% [?]

Went to the funeral

Filed Under (Family, Life, Ranting) by Morbid Romantic on 29-07-2008
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Yesterday was my Aunt’s funeral. It was supposed to be Wednesday, but it was pushed forward due to that day being inconvenient for a few people. I got the call about it Sunday night.

My mother had a doctor’s appointment beforehand, so I got dressed in a simple pair of black slacks, a white shirt with somewhat puffy style sleeves, and a black sweater vest over it. I almost thought that my mother had changed her mind about going because she still wasn’t home by 11:30am when the funeral was at exactly noon. I got ready nonetheless. I put on make up, made sure my hair looked decent, made sure my nails looked good, and made sure I smelled pretty. All important things when making a public appearance.

We got there about five minutes until noon, but it was no big deal since everyone was arriving around that time. We were taken into a room where there was a table with some pictures of my Aunt set up and some little papers with information about her… which was really just a reprint of her obituary, but with a color photo. Boxes of tissue were everywhere. I gave my cousin a hug and we mingled for a while. There were a lot of people there I didn’t know, so I just ignored everyone. I did get to see my Uncle, the man who had been married to my Aunt through my whole childhood. He ended up leaving her for some, like, Vietnamese lady when we were about 14. Still, a nice guy. To be honest, I don’t blame him for leaving my Aunt. It was drama and craziness and if I could have gotten out by marrying a Vietnamese woman, I would have, too.

After gathering for a while, we were all seated, my mother and I in the reserved section for family. Still, we took the back most pew since it only seemed right. You could call us family, but considering how many years it has been since I’ve seen my Aunt, it didn’t seem right.

I have stoic and stone-like down to an art. Through years of practice and emotional self-deprivation, I have mastered the art of showing absolutely no emotion despite what may be happening around me. This has its benefits and its damages. On one hand, I never give over more than I want to. On the other hand, it has made me an emotional neuter. I was able to sit there for a while during this time in which everyone sobbed and cried. It was really hard for me to listen to my cousin. I just knew that she was in a lot of pain. It’s pain that I can’t at this point imagine. My mother is alive, my mother is well. But, I know that when she dies, I’ll be a wreck. I’ll probably never recover from it, to be honest with you.

I’ll admit that there were times as my cousin cried that I almost broke, it almost shattered all my steely resolve to stay as emotionless as possible.

After the useless prayers and the female minister standing before us all telling us that we should believe in Christ, some people got up and told stories about my Aunt. It was really nice to listen to. Still, I couldn’t help but be cynical. I hate the way that people anglicize and romanticize people once they’ve died. It seems like after a person dies, somehow everything bad or wrong they’ve ever done is forgotten. In life, the person might have been talked about with scorn or rumors. In death, it’s always, “Oh, she was so funny” or “he was the nicest guy.” So, it was in my head as everyone spoke about what a wonderful woman my Aunt was, I snorted and scoffed.

I know, I know, I’m a bad person.

Maybe when I die, I will be sainted by my friends and family and no one will remember this about me, either.

After the speeches came a little slideshow of pictures of my Aunt set to godawful R&B songs about mothers and missing people. You know those kids. During the slideshow, I counter two spelling errors.

Seriously, is it so hard to proof something before you send out the final copy? Was it not worth the five minutes to scan through slide and reread everything to fix two simple errors of forgetting letters at the ends of words?

Obviously it was.

Then came the actual outside services. As luck would have it, my cousin was able to get the spot beside my grandmother for my Aunt. The spot had been vacant for a good 45+ years after my grandfather sold it back to the funeral home so that he could be buried with his knew wife. Apparently, the card was lost and not found until my cousin went to go buy it. Of course, everyone attributed that to some divine, spiritual intervention. Except me. It is what it is.

I just don’t know anymore.

Then it was home and food and water. I took a nap and watched movies, a good way to unwind.

Popularity: 7% [?]

Free Connection Manager From Avanquest

Filed Under (PPP) by Morbid Romantic on 29-07-2008
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My laptop is my baby. I take it with me where ever I go, it has all of the programs I need, and it allows me to work from anywhere at any time. I know how much trouble it is to find Wireless Connection, keep their settings, and have it all make sense on one panel. Half the time, when I look at my own connection manager, I can’t tell what connection is what. I forget the names, my own fault, I know.

Get Avanquest Connection Manager for FREE! It detects and remembers your network settings so that you always get your printers and emails. It will find any available Internet Connection and connect you automatically, so you never have to worry about finding the WiFi hotspots yourself. Going beyond what a PC does, the Avanquest Connection Manager also handles your VPNs (virtual private networks) and sees mapped drives. So, give it a try! It’s free!

According to their press release:

Avanquest Software, a leading developer and publisher of business and consumer software for the global PC market, has released its new and powerful Avanquest Connection Manager tool, worth $29.95, for FREE. This title will save laptop users time and effort as it simplifies the process of detecting, selecting and connecting to different networks, printers and other peripherals whenever they change their location.

Today, mobile computer users often access public and private networks from many places they visit, from coffee shops and offices to airports and hotels. This usually requires different types of internet connections with a variety of different settings to be able to work properly, requiring the system to be reconfigured every time you move from one network to another. Avanquest Connection Manager allows laptop users to save time and avoid frustration by automatically:

* Detecting and storing preferred settings for each location.
* Selecting and identifying the settings if they return to a previously visited location.
* Connecting to preferred settings and peripherals for that particular location

Avanquest Connection Manager enables laptop users to automatically disconnect and reconnect to different networks and peripherals every time they change location, making it much more than just a wireless connection manager. Preferred network connection settings for the internet, Virtual Private Networks (VPN), email clients, default printers and disk drives are all remembered for future use, allowing users to visit locations and not have to re-enter any configuration information.

To get your free copy of the full retail software package of Avanquest Connection Manager visit : http://www.ConnectMyLaptop.com
To learn more about how the software works visit: http://www.ConnectMyLaptop.com

Popularity: 5% [?]

Lazy Sunday

Filed Under (Alfee, General, Girl Stuff) by Morbid Romantic on 27-07-2008
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Fridays are the nights when you go out and do something relaxing but fun, something to unwind.

Saturdays are when you can spend all day and night out, going places, seeing friends, having fun.

Sundays are the lazy days that you spend in bed.

That was just what me and Alfee did. Well, maybe not so much Alfee since he tried to wake me up twice before I actually got up. The bed was just so, so comfortable that I couldn’t bring myself to step out of it. Then afterwards, I snuggled up to Alfee and we lay in his bed for about an hour and a half watching TV and napping. The only reason we got up when we did was because it was going to storm and we both wanted him to take me home before the big storm hit. Safer that way for him having to drive and all.

I decided to watch movies when I got home, so I got a stack from my mother’s huge collection and went upstairs.

My Aunt’s funeral is tomorrow, not Wednesday. It was scheduled for Wednesday, but apparently that day was bad for a lot of people and my cousin moved the date up. My mother just happened to have tomorrow off, so we will go together. On one hand, I am happy about that. On the other hand, I don’t want to spend all day tomorrow at a funeral for someone I don’t really care that anything about. What hit me hard in all of this was supporting my cousin. The ‘emotional’ part for me is dealing with the people who are living who are in pain because of this.

Alfee wants to buy me more dresses. I totally support this! I’m putting the more expensive of clothes in nice garment bags to keep them safe.

Popularity: 10% [?]

Ouch…

Filed Under (Life, Ranting) by Morbid Romantic on 26-07-2008
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My mother needs me to listen to her voice mail to get the names and addresses of all the moving companies that have been left for her. According to her, they are talking too fast for her to hear and copy down, so the job is mine. She didn’t get home until about 6pm and Alfee usually comes around 7pm to pick me up. I have some time to pack up all of the stuff I need for the weekend and then go downstairs to help her out before I leave.

I had a duffel bag with all of my clothes and hygiene things, as well as my purse, my laptop case, and the bag that has my external hard drive. I figured that I would take some of it down so that I would be ready for Alfee, and while down there I would help my mother out.

Good plan?

BAD PLAN!

My sock decided that it was time for me to DIE.

For some reason, my sock slipped and sent me thumping down the stairs. Now my ass really hurts. I know, just know, it’s going to have a bruise on it when I wake up tomorrow. No joke, my ass hurts so hardcore. There’s no way a bruise will NOT be there when I wake up tomorrow. I’ll be seriously surprised if I wake up in 100% shape.

Tomorrow, Alfee and I are going back to Colonial Williamsburg.

I also moved my Q&A page. I used to use TinyQ&A, but the script is so insecure that it seemed time for me to move on to PHPAskIt. You can now find my new Q&A page here.

Popularity: 5% [?]

Review: Domination (Devitations Book 2)

Filed Under (Library, Review) by Morbid Romantic on 24-07-2008
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Title: Domination
Series: Deviations
Author(s): Owen, Chris & Jodi Payne
Genre: Fiction
Tags: erotica, sex, fiction, bdsm, bondage, discipline, domination, submission, sadomasochism, sadist, masochist, gay
Summary: Tobias works at becoming more comfortable and finding his balance as a full-time Master again. Meanwhile, his work brings out the true submissive in Noah, who faces some of his greatest fears, and his greatest secrets, confessing to Noah about a terrible time in his past. He’s not the only one who has a rough time. Tobias breaks down and shows Noah he’s not all dominance, too, which sends shockwaves through their romance, leaving them to wonder if they can keep it together.
Finished: July 24, 2008
Rating: 4 Stars
Review:

Boy was it good to be back reading about Tobias and Noah. I have to say, since the last book, I missed them. I actually craved to read this second book of the Deviations series because I HAD to know what happens with them. It didn’t disappoint. There was a lot of hot action, a lot of hot scenes, and a lot of romance. This book was definitely more romantic than the first, and emotional in a different way. In this second book, Tobias and Noah have to find balance between having a regular romantic relationship and having a relationship based on the exchange of power. In this one, Tobias examines his weaknesses as Noah comes to terms with his. Their dynamic and struggles show that not even the best Dom in the world is infallible; no matter how strong we are, we break down, we screw up. We’re not perfect. I can’t wait to read number 3.

- More can be found on my Library page1

Popularity: 10% [?]

  1. Disclaimer: This review is an expression of my own opinions and contains my own personal analysis. []

Enjoying a day out… cheaply

Filed Under (Life, Movies) by Morbid Romantic on 24-07-2008
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My mother and I had some more errands to run, things that had been put aside for our trip to Busch Gardens that ended with me getting a mild heat stroke. After paying some bills and giving my mother some money for everything she paid for yesterday, I took her to see Batman: The Dark Knight. Yeah, I’ve already seen it, but I wanted her to see it on the big screen, too. It was such a good movie that there’s no harm in seeing it twice.

That and on weekdays during the day, movie tickets at the AMC in Hampton are only $5. So, I got two movie tickets for $10. And, on Wednesdays, Movie Watcher members get free popcorn, so I got two coupons for two free small popcorns AND a coupon for one small drink. All I had to do was buy my mother a drink. All in all, for our movie afternoon, I spent $14.75 for two tickets, two small popcorns, and two drinks. Theater prices are insane, we know it. If I had to pay out of pocket, non-matinee prices for all of that, it would have been $20 for tickets, $10 for popcorn and $10 for drinks. All together, a little less than $40.

Pretty sweet deal, if you ask me.

The weather was TERRIBLE, though. Not to mention when I woke up, my lungs ached from the Dismal Swamp fire. We got a bit of the smoke this morning and it bothered my lungs while I slept so that I woke with them in not the best shape. It was raining lightly when we left the theater. By the time we got home, it was thundering so badly that the walls and windows were shaking. Not only that, but it was one constant roll of thunder, it seemed, that just got softer and then loud to a deafening point. I napped for a bit because I was really exhausted for some inexplicable reason.

Then when I did wake up, the net was being so funky that I had to wait for it to be fixed. It’s still being tricky and I keep having to reset the wireless switch on my laptop to get it to work. Very annoying, but it also gave me time to sit back and get some reading done. I think I’m pretty far along now… I only have less than 60 pages out of 427 left. That will bring me to 3 out of 28 for my 28 Books in 2008 goal. Sweet! I think I should read something in between while everyone else catches up and finishes because I don’t want to lag, I don’t want to get out of the habit of reading. If I do, I might find it hard to read with any speed when a new book is chosen.

Popularity: 7% [?]

Have you had your summer vacation yet?

Filed Under (PPP) by Morbid Romantic on 24-07-2008
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About two years ago, on our way home from Utah, after spending some time in Fillmore and Salt Lake City with family, my mother and I took a flight back home that stopped in Las Vegas. When the plane began to coast down to the airport runway, I saw the trademark Welcome to Las Vegas sign and loved it! I’ve seen it in movies and have always wanted to see it in pictures. I wish that it had been night and not the middle of the day because I’ve always heard that the sight of the Vegas strip at night is gorgeous. Given the nature of the city, there are tons of things to do in Las Vegas such as a visit to the Vegas branch of Madame Tussauds. Needless to say, my mother and I could not pass up a trip to Las Vegas without hitting some gambling. I’m definitely NOT a gambler, but it’s a trademark. You have to do it once!

Trusted Tours & Attractions helps you plan your vacations or trips by finding all the great sightseeing tours, attractions and museums that you’ll definitely want to see. Using their website, you can find a variety of things to do in Boston, things to do in New Orleans, things to do in Chicago, and more. Trusted Tours & Attractions also has special prices listed for the best deals, saving you a few bucks. You can also use their online travel guides for travel information and tips from people with first hand experience to share.

Also, if you sign up for the newsletter through Trusted Tours & Attractions by July 31, 2008, you are in the running to win a $150 Itunes gift card! That’s a whole lot of good music and more that you can win.

Popularity: 5% [?]

My Heat Scare

Filed Under (General, Life) by Morbid Romantic on 23-07-2008
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My mother and I decided to head off to Busch Gardens for a bit since we had some time between errands… though, yes, because of our little trip to Williamsburg to ride on stuff, we didn’t get everything done and have to go to the bank and pay a few bills tomorrow. There are a few shows that my mother has yet to see and we also wanted to ride those few rides that aren’t too intense for her.

We went to go to see the More Pet Shenanigans, which I have never seen before despite having gone to Busch Gardens countless times. It was such an adorable show, I swear I almost died. All these kitties and puppies running around, just being cute kitties and puppies. All of the animals have been rescued from the ASPCA, so that just makes them all the more special. And they were sooooo cute. Those kitties! I can’t gush enough over how sweet they all looked bouncing around and running and doing tricks.

Afterwards, since it was starting in ten minutes and just across the way, my mother and I went to see the Grey Wolf show. It’s a stand up show and it was so hot. Today was the hottest day of the year so far. With the humidity, it was an easy 108 degrees. I’m a pretty tough person. I have youth on my side, right? So, I stood out in the sun and heat for a good half an hour since the show was 20 minutes long. My mother and I planned to ride the Sky Ride to Germany to go to the Festhaus and get something quick to eat. By the time we leave the wolf show, I feel a little sick to my stomach, but I take that as hunger. When I get hungry, I get really super nauseous.

I think to myself, “a cold drink and a little food and I’ll feel great.” By the time we make it to France next to Ireland (where the two animal shows were), it’s only getting worse. And when I say worse, I mean its worseness seems to be growing exponentially. I’m feeling a little lightheaded, but again, it’s hot and I need water. Nothing big or detrimental. I’ve felt that way before. Except at this point, I’m getting a little scatterbrained. I can this when I walk the wrong direction in the line, something obvious to a clear mind. I tend to be somewhat out of it from time to time, so I don’t think my mother took it as a bad sign.

When we got into line and stood, it hit me like bricks. It was the strangest feeling in the world. It felt like there was this huge weight or pressure on my chest. I felt like my breathing was being restricted to short and shallow breaths, yet at the same time I felt like my lungs were expanding and wide open. I tried not to panic at this point because I knew that to do so would only make my breathing worse, more labored and quick. I held on to the line bar and tried to put as much weight against it as I could to relax, to take the stress off of me.

My eyes began to go all blotchy, like there were dark spots popping up here and there. When I would open them and try to focus on something, my eyes felt strained. After the splotching, it seemed like the whole world was beginning to fade. When I opened my eyes, it was like everything was covered in a film of see through black so that I could see everything, but it was darkened in an artificial way not by clouds or a gray sky. I don’t know when I told my mother that I felt like I was going to pass out, but I did. She noticed then that my lips were pale white, the color of my face, which one would expect to be flushed in heat like that. All the color had drained from me.

The feeling that I was going to vomit was so bad I felt like I was going to collapse. The world kept dimming, things were getting lighter. I knew that I was seconds away from passing out. I was actually going to faint. My mother asked if I wanted to get out of line, but all I thought about was sitting in the cart, closing my eyes and cooling off. So, despite that it was hard for me to stay upright and conscious on two feet, I forced myself to.

This part is sort of dreamlike, but I remember feeling drunk when I walked into the cart and getting in. Then I sort of let myself slump against the side and close my eyes. My mother said she checked my fingernails then to see if they had color, which they didn’t. I don’t remember this either. I don’t recall her grabbing my hand. I just had my eyes closed and I was sort of half awake. The cool air felt really good that high up. I think I mumbled something to my mom, but again I don’t remember what happened.

Somewhere over Land of the Dragons, something in me snapped like I was waking up and I could open my eyes and talk without slurring. I felt weak, I was shaky all over and cold (but soooo hot), but I could open my eyes and I wasn’t seeing spots anymore. All I had was a growing and lingering headache.

Eating did help. Sitting inside of the Festhaus in the dark with the cold air helped a lot, as did the drink and food.

After my scare, my mother and I decided to take it light. We went to Ireland again and rode Corkscrew Hill, a ride that we can both agree is completely awesome. For such a hot day, the ride had NO line, so we went right up to the front and then on. God, I can’t tell you how good those dark ice cold tunnels felt to get to the ride. Because even though I felt better, I constantly felt like I was on the brink of another spell.

Since we were close, we ended out day with Pirates in 4-D in the Globe Theater at Banbury Cross, England. Once the show was over, we were both exhausted and decided to come home. My mother has been forcing me to drink water. To be honest, I still feel really weak and really… weird. But a little normal and not like I am about to pass out and die.

When Alfee called, I didn’t tell him. I didn’t want him to worry. He’d freak out if he knew and I didn’t want to make his life that much more stressful.

Popularity: 7% [?]

Ultimate Paintball Gear & Markers

Filed Under (PPP) by Morbid Romantic on 23-07-2008
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I’ve always wanted to go paintballing. About a year ago, a friend and I saw a paintball place and talked about going because it always seemed like so much fun on TV or in movies, but we didn’t have enough money. Since then, I’ve always sort of wanted to know what it’s like. When Alfee and I go out shopping and we end up in a sporting goods store, I ask him questions about paintballing when I see various guns and paintballs for sale.

One of the toughest things about getting into a new scene is finding equipment that is good and priced right. When you’re new to something, you don’t know what to look for, what things typically go for, or what to expect. It takes a lot of shopping around to get adjusted to how things are bought and sold, what you will need to participate properly and how much you should be expected to pay fairly.

Ultimate Paintball is an online seller of paintballing equipment. You can shop by category for everything from guns to Tippmann Upgrades to harnesses to paintball gun cases. They have a wide selection of guns including Empire, Proto, Dye, Smart Pants and WGP brands. Of course, those aren’t the only brands that they sell! I really like the look of the Spyder Electra. It’s black and sleek, just what I like. Even cooler? The very wonderfully detailed description on the website says that it can shoot up to 25 paintballs a second. A second. AND it has been marked down in price. Tell me that doesn’t sound awesome because I think it really does.

I like that the site looks reliable, also. They promise free Fed Ex shipping for online orders over $99 or phone orders over $350. You can also chat to live representatives during their customer service hours, which I like because I hate working with huge companies that have depersonalized customer service to the point where all you get in reply to an issue is a copied and pasted list of things to try.

Popularity: 5% [?]